A False Alarm

Dear Pickles,

Today I had an interesting day at work.  It was 3 o'clock in the afternoon.  I was at work trying to resolve a client issue with my friend, Alfonso.  Before we went to speak to our friend, Ken, to help us with our client issue, I told Alfonso that I had to go to the bathroom.  (I spend a lot of time there every day going #1 since you have nestled so close to my bladder.)  After taking care of business, Alfonso and I went to Ken's office to discuss our client issue.

As your mother tried to explain what she believed was going on with the client, I was stopped mid-sentence with a strange feeling.  "Hmm... What's that?  Is that...?  No... It can't be..."  Sensing something wrong, Ken and Alfonso looked at me.

"Are you okay?" they asked.

"Um... I either just peed my pants... or my water just broke," I announced.

A flurry of activity happened from that moment to get me out of the office and to the hospital.  Alfonso agreed to drive me (even though I wasn't having any signs of contractions).  On the way to the hospital, I called the triage nurse, and she advised me to do the following before coming to the hospital: change into some dry clothes, put on a sanitary pad, and if it's still wet or soaking in 15 minutes, I should come to the hospital.  If it's dry in 15 minutes, I probably just wet my pants.

Instead of going to the hospital, I asked Alfonso to take a detour to CVS to buy some adult diapers for me (what a trooper!).  Then, we went to his house, since it was nearby, and I borrowed some sweat pants from his wife, Beth.  I did as the triage nurse ordered; I changed my clothes and waited.  All I could think was, "I'm not ready.  I haven't even finished the nursery.  I haven't finished my birthing classes!  I don't even have a bag packed!  Crap!"

After 15 minutes - there was nothing.  I called the triage nurse back, and we concluded that I just wet my pants.  She said that it was a common occurrence for women at my stage in pregnancy since the baby is pressing down on the bladder.  (I thought that it was weird since I literally went potty seconds before the accident... Oh well.)  At that news, I decided to go back to work.

On the way back to work, I couldn't help but think of this scene from the movie, Billy Madison:





Best quote from this scene? "You ain't cool unless you pee your pants."  So there you go.

Love,

Mommy