I knew that it would happen to me one day. All of my friends who are parents have had it happen to them in one way or another... I just never really thought it would happen to us like this.
The night before we left for our week long family vacation in Tennessee, I took you to your nursery to change a poopy diaper, not unheard of in our household. I laid you down gently in your diaper changing station and proceeded to do the task that had become second nature to me. I opened your diaper and announced in a sing songy kind of way, "You did a poopy." As usual, you gave me a surprised look. "How adorable," I thought as I grabbed your feet in one hand and used my other hand to grab a wipe.
Then IT happened. As I lifted your feet in the air to wipe your bum, a powerful spray of poop shot out of you, traveled across the diaper changing station, and hit your closet door. I screamed in surprise... and then I was just speechless.
Your daddy ran up the stairs, scared that I had dropped you. But when he walked into your nursery, it was like the music from that famous shower scene from Psycho was playing. He looked at the horror on my face, me holding your feet in shock, and the poop (oh the poop!) that was sprayed all over the closet door, dripping down to the floor.
"Help me..." I said to your daddy. The words barely escaped from my lips. "I didn't know whether to let go of her legs and let her get all poopy again, or wait for you to come up and help me," I said, still shaken.
"I'll clean it up. You can finish changing her and then feed her," your daddy said. (Bless that man!)
All the while, you still had the same surprised look on your face.
Afterward, we laughed at the whole thing -- in awe of the power and trajectory of your poopy from hell.
Mommy's reenactment using Paint
And although it hasn't happened since, we've been traumatized by the experience. Even now when we change your diaper, we do it in record speed. And if you happen to let out a cute little fart while doing it, we jump at the sound, however adorable it may be.
I hope you aren't too embarrassed by this story. Sh*t happens. Plus, it was too good not to share.